I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
