The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
