She went from zero to smokin in five shots
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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