Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
