Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
