My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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