so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize