ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize