I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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