3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
