so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
