1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
