Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
