i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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