when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
