I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize