You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pappa wants mamma naked
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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