Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
