I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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