Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize