nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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