we have officially mastered the walk of shame
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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