lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
