brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
