Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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