it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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