I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
