Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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