I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
