Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
