PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
