I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
