So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
