Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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