i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
