Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
