I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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