i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
