Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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