I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize