I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
