I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
