i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
