I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
