What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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