no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
