toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
