i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
