No stitches, just platelets and will power
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
