there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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