Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
