why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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