Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
