NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
