Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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