i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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