Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
