I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
