3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
