the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
