You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
