it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
