Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just saw a hot homeless man
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
