Taylor Swift is so right about you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize