idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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