Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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